You’ve got to be kidding me

Vermont Goats

It’s kidding season. No, I don’t mean time for joking, high jinks, rabble rousing, bantering or fooling around. Especially not fooling around. It’s the time of year that kidding is taking place on goat farms all over the country, and that is serious business- in more ways than one.

The term ‘kidding’ refers to the particular time of year, when goats are bred and babies weaned on their mother’s colostrum. The preparations that go into the process of kidding on a farm are tremendous, and farmers know that the future livelihood of their herd is determined in part, by how kidding season plays out.

I spoke today with Laini Fondiller, owner, cheesemaker and chief bucket washer at Lazy Lady Farm, off the grid near Westfield, Vermont. I asked her what the greatest challenges are with this time of season- what does the cheesemaker dread with regards to kidding season? What are the joys? What don’t people know about raising infant goats that they should. Her laugh on the other end of the line made it quite apparent that while she might be 3/4 of the way through actual kidding season, her stresses and challenges are far from over.

“You have to keep them comfortable” she said. “It’s all about keeping their stress loads down. The amount of colostrum you are able to provide them, is directly related to how productive they will become. People don’t really know this stuff, but little kids don’t really suckle all that much- so it’s about how fast and furious I am able to provide those essential first nutrients, that makes it or breaks it”.

Laini went on to tell me that the young goats require the cheesemaker to feed them 20 ounces of colostrum, three times a day. Are you doing the math, folks? That’s 60 ounces (almost half a gallon) of their mother’s milk in a 24 hour period. This of course would be less of an issue, if they were drinking it directly from their mother. But because they are so young, many don’t know how to suckle correctly yet. That’s where Laini comes in.

“I stick a long tube down their throat. Like a long syringe” Laini tells me. “The more I can feed them, the less their stress will be. They can’t be frantic. You can’t let them get frantic.” Obviously then, Laini is the one who becomes frantic, literally running from baby goat to baby goat, ensuring each is full and happy.

“This year was nutty. I had thirty three goats that kidded between March 3rd and March 8th. One day I worked from 6am to 2am the next morning. And coffee didn’t help. It hurt! Then I got up at 6am the next day and did it all over again- another 18 or 20 hour day.”

“You have to remember als0..” she mentioned, “That milk I’m giving those kids, I could be turning into cheese! This is an investment- that’s what kidding season is all about- investing in your herd”. Each one of those mama goats (does), will have two babies. That’s over sixty baby goats to tend after. Out of those babies, Laini will keep only 6-10 for her own herd. The rest she will sell.

“I’d rather the breeding and the kidding come like a tsunami. Hard and fast. It’s better that way. It should come quick, furious and then I’m done. It can be a killer if it drags on and on and on”. Odd that this yearly cataclysm on goat farms across the country takes place quietly, on back roads and open pasture far removed from the bustling cities where the very cheese made from the milk of these gorgeous animals gets sold for $20 or $30 a pound. Talk about a labor of love, with a justified market price.

“What’s the best part of kidding?” I ask. “These amazing animals”, she replies. “They’re snappers! The pure joy that comes from watching them live- thrive. That’s the best part”. In a few weeks, kidding season will be over- at least for this year, and then next spring, Laini gets to do it all over again. All for the love of the kids.